Counseling for Childhood Trauma in Coral Springs
Helping Adults Heal from Painful Childhood Experiences
You’ve always known your family was just a little bit different. You couldn’t quite put your finger on what made your family different; you just knew. Maybe it was how your mother kept everything, and you mean EVERYTHING, to where there was no more space on the kitchen table to eat or places to sit on the couch; you just moved piles of stuff (papers and newspapers, mostly) around like musical chairs.
Or maybe it was how often you were spanked by your parents. Looking back, it seems excessive, right? And there was even that time you got hurt because you were spanked so hard. For you, that was just what it looked like when your dad lost his temper.
You remember growing up uncomfortable in your own home. There was fighting, lots of fighting, in your family. Yet to anyone on the outside, it looked like you had a great family.
Others didn’t know about the yelling, the fighting, the hitting, and the silent treatment for days, or even weeks on end when you upset a parent. They didn’t know how afraid you were to make a mistake for fear of what might happen. They didn’t know how bad it hurt your feelings to be told “You’re a bad daughter/son”. Or worse, that you were the cause of all the family’s problems.
And now, as an adult, it’s hard to have a relationship with your parents. They’re getting older and you wish you could have a close relationship with them. Yet you feel like you just can’t. There’s a lot of hurt, anger, and sadness you still feel when you think about how they treated you. You feel like they were right: you ARE a bad son/daughter because you can’t bring yourself to have a relationship with them now.
Our Childhood Impacts Our Development
Your relationship with your parents isn’t the only thing you wish was different. You find yourself unable to say to “No” to others around you, like your co-workers asking you to stay late for them, or even someone who cuts you in line at the grocery store. Standing up for yourself is your goal; you just can’t seem to do it.
When someone cuts you off, you feel outraged. How could they do that do to you!? You feel powerless in some areas of your life so you try to take control wherever you can, with whoever you can. And it usually ends up making things worse.
Your relationships with your family are suffering. It drives you crazy the way your spouse never picks up after themselves; you feel like they’re your oldest and biggest child! And it reminds you of what it was like living at home, with all the clutter and mess; being embarrassed to invite friends over because of what they might see.
Because of what happened in childhood, you:
- Feel like you can’t break the cycle of dating the same jerk, over and over
- Have a difficult relationship with your parents, yet you want to be close to them
- Are overwhelmed by feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression
- Constantly compare yourself to others and always feel like you come up short
- Have a hard time saying “No” because you think you’ll make someone mad
Counseling and therapy can help change all that.
You Can Have to Leave Your Past Behind You
Think about all the possibilities available to you when you’ve finally let go of your past. You’re able to say “No” without being afraid of the other person’s response; you’re not feeling anxious before you say “No”, or trying to come up with an excuse, or even feeling that little knot in your stomach, anticipating that it’s going to be a problem.
Your relationship with your parents has improved. It’s not a perfect relationship by any means, yet it’s one your comfortable with you. You’ve set boundaries with them and you know this is what’s best for you.
You’ve let go of that belief that what happened to you was somehow your fault, that there was something about you that made you an easy target. The idea that you were responsible for everything that went wrong in your childhood is just plain wrong.
How great will it feel when you can look in the mirror and really love yourself, all that you’ve been through, and know that you are stronger and wiser because of it.
Therapy Can Ease the Pain of a Difficult Childhood
Counseling and therapy help us begin to see the world a little differently from what we thought we knew. We can begin seeing our parents not only as our parents but as people; people who have flaws, people with hopes and dreams, wishes and goals, and even their own unresolved pains and hurts.
And once we start to forgive them, we can finish our own healing. We can forgive others who’ve hurt us in the past and change our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves so that we no longer find ourselves repeating the same behavior.
It can be challenging at first, to let go of the hurt you’ve experienced, yet there is nothing more rewarding than leaving your past right where it belongs: in the past. Turn your attention towards your present, and your future, and embrace your life as you want to live it.
- Change your dating patterns so you’re dating the right individual for you
- Accept your parents for who they are and establish healthy limits with them
- Handle work and life stress with ease and peace
- Drop the comparison game and feel happy with who you are
- Learn to say “No” without fear of upsetting someone
As someone who’s experienced painful childhood memories and complicated family relationships, I know what it’s like to wish you had a different family. But you don’t. Let me keep you company on the path to healing so you can make the most of the relationships you have now and let go of the anger and resentment.
Reach Out to Schedule Your First Appointment Today
If you want to drop the story that you’re not good enough because of your family, to be able to look back on your childhood without sadness, then it’s time to schedule a call with me to see how you can learn to let go of your past and start embracing your present and future. You can reach me at 561-331-1715 or Email at [email protected].